ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
