Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
