I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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