they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
