We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Let the clothes fall where they may.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
