She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
