On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
