Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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