Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
