Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
should my penis look like a turkey
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
