I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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