Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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