i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I need water and some morals
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
