Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
