like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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