your thong is hanging out like whoa
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
