please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
