how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
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i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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