You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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