Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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