Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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