Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
