he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize