Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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