that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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