Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Randomize
