I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
