Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
