Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
