Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The uberlube is also flammable
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
