he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
