she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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