Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
