If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
