margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
