is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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