Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
