Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My dick has a subreddit
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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