hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
