kristin has been a bad kristin
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
