I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
