He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
