We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
