If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
