i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
