Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
