it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize