As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Two words: blizzard sex
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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