I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
birth control should be required to get into college
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
