I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
