I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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