i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
