worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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