i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
