they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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