She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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