update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
