There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
