sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
