dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
