I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
