After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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