my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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