Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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