So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
