C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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