Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think people are normalizing furries
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
