new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
