Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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